I have been wanting to paint this triptych for some time now, and I’ve spent a lot of time thinking deeply about how I wanted to represent its narrative.

As we are all unique, womanhood is naturally a subject experienced differently — so I knew that I would need to paint a piece which was deeply personal. I would have to be totally honest with myself if the paintings were to be authentic and truly representative.

Everyone’s life is impacted by events, traumas, relationships, and general day to day living. That is not what I wanted to illustrate here. This triptych represents my fundamental essence of self — my spirit, my consciousness, that intangible part of me which makes me the person I am.

The project was very intense as I had to reflect on, identify and dig past the layers of those outside influences, in order to find what I could recognise as purely myself. Each part of the triptych represents a different period of my life and shows a progression and evolution. This project has not been self-indulgent; I wanted to give a representation of one woman’s journey through life, and for my work to perhaps be the trigger for others to pause and reflect on their own personal life experience.

Throughout art history, female artists have struggled to get their work seen, let alone be considered as serious contributors to the artistic canon and discourse. Yet they have persisted, very often making works which have highlighted their personal struggles and their fight to have their voices validated as significant, but very separate from the patriarchal art world. I’m not saying this to in any way try and compare myself to those great masters — far from it. I’m merely saying that a single voice is a valid one, and that we should all, however we identify ourselves, seek inspiration to value ourselves as individuals and celebrate our true selves.

The Sprite

(Impasto acrylic on canvas)

This painting represents my childhood and youth. It was painted spontaneously, with energy and movement, using an impasto style, and the paint was applied straight from tube onto the canvas with a palette knife. It is the 10 year old me, and expresses an ever changing world of hopscotch, superheroes, sherbet fountains, dancing, speeding through the waves with spray on my face, hiding behind the sofa to watch Doctor Who; the beauty of the metallic scales of a mackerel, Winnie the Pooh, Alice in Wonderland, Narnia, and being allowed to lick the bowl after my mum made fairy cakes on a Sunday. I tried to capture the feeling of not being able to focus on any one thing for long, or take everything in quickly enough — a time of innocence and joy, when I believed all grown-ups were good people to be trusted and respected.

The Nurturer

(Acrylic on canvas with gold and silver leaf)

This was the most challenging piece for me to paint. I honestly found it very difficult to find that specific part of me when I looked for her. She was buried so deeply under a lot of not-so-great things which I didn’t want to wade through or think about. But, eventually, I found her. She was quieter, more reflective, and only really apparent when she felt safe and peaceful.

I’ve called this painting ‘The Nurturer’ because there are so many forms of nurturing. Not just family or children, but close friends, animals, gardens, and — often overlooked — the need to nurture ourselves.

At this point in my life, my spirit sat in the background, almost invisible. She got lost, but always found the most joy from kindness, learning, teaching, friends, and the outdoors and nature. To express this I have used stronger, deeper colours painted to reflect quietness, stillness, and an unobtrusive patience.

The Goddess

(Acrylic on canvas with gold and silver leaf)

Humans are one of very few species in which females have an extensive life beyond childbearing age. To explain this, anthropologists have formed the ‘grandmother hypothesis’, which posits that women have evolved to be the repository for generations of wisdom and knowledge which evolution has deemed invaluable to human survival. In many cultures, female elders are respected and revered as they pass this down to younger generations.

It was no longer difficult to find my inner self at this point in my life. She just arrived one day, and I love her. She has an inner strength and light, humility and courage. The Goddess now holds the hand of her ‘Sprite’ self, and has reconnected with that priceless joy of fearlessly discovering and experiencing life. However, this time her appreciation of what matters has been shaped by having endured infernos which have forged within her a profoundly powerful self-knowledge and sense of worth.

I’ve painted this as an explosion — a supernova of clarity, and a final freeing of that inner self to be who she has always been. The gold and silver leaf has purposely been roughly applied, representing the fact that by this point we have been bruised and scarred by life, but these trials have only strengthened our capacity to recognise and appreciate joy and light.